I've spent the last week trying to get a handle on our home and my time. Over the last year I've felt increasingly overwhelmed by the day-to-day stuff that needs done around here. So, on Saturday I handed over a volunteer job to someone better able to handle it. This is something I should have done a looong time ago. Like, after Goldie was born.
I have to come clean and admit thinking to myself after she was born, "I'm not going to change. I'm not going to let Down syndrome take over my life. I'm still going to do everything I did before. I won't become obsessed with it." Its taken me 2 1/2 years to admit that I have changed, my life and interests have changed and its not as bad as I thought it would be. Down syndrome didn't take over my life, but my love for Goldie has. She demands more of my time than I anticipated in the beginning, but who can think of a better way to spend their time.
The volunteer work I did was bookkeeping. Which is best done without the help of a 2 year old. I tried waiting until she was asleep, but she would wake up constantly and I still didn't get anything done. The bookkeeping kept getting further behind and my guilt kept growing. I put off doing crafts and projects around the house because I felt like I should be getting caught up on the work I was already committed to. I ended up getting nothing done for myself, my family, or the charity. Which led to more guilt.
Now that I've relinquished my duties, my time is once again my own. Like Hank said, "Now all you have to do is take care of the kids." Yep, that's it. HA! HA! But really, I've been planning field trips for them and organizing their rooms. I'm good at organizing when I'm pregnant!
Totally unrelated to this post, but when I was looking at my calendar, I saw that Goldie's first transition meeting is next week. Eeek! I don't feel ready for this process.