Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve Two Years Ago

I was 7 months pregnant with Goldie. Hank (cute nickname for hubby) and I decided to buck tradition and have Christmas Eve at our house. It would be the last day I spent with my Grandma. She died of a brain tumor a month later. But that night she was the smart, witty woman I had known all my life. She bought my girls some fun gifts and had a wonderful time watching her great-granddaughters enjoying them.

Goldie was born 4 weeks after my Grandma died. I did not see her before she died. I will always regret that. I should have followed my heart and not listened to the advice of others. However, I have no regrets about her life. I always made to time to stop and visit with her. My mom's family lives in Vermont, so she was the only Grandma I had growing up.

There is a sad irony in her passing before Goldie was born. Grandma had 3 boys. I have 3 girls. Her youngest sustained brain damage at birth. She was the mother of a special needs child before the term even existed. Before Early Intervention. She drove across Pennsylvania twice a year for his therapies. She told me about her experiences, but it never really hit home until Goldie was born. The one person who KNEW what I was going through was gone...

I cried a lot after Goldie's diagnosis. I could handle my daughter having Down Syndrome, but I couldn't fathom this journey without my Grandma. I've come a long way since those dark days. Here is a picture of her with my uncle and Swatcho (nickname for my middle dd).

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