Monday, December 29, 2008

Just to Clarify

I just reread my Mim Mims post and hope I didn't offend anyone. I struggle with being pro-breastfeeding without seeming judgemental towards moms that aren't bf. I know it isn't black and white. I've become very frustrated with doctors that refuse to educate themselves so that they can truly support breastfeeding mothers. I went through 5 pediatricians in 3 years before finding one that trusted me as a mother and believed breastmilk was the ideal food for babies.

So, when I wrote that failure was not an option I was writing from inside my head. I don't consider other moms failures. But, that is how I would have felt about my situation. I know as mothers that we do the best we can with the information we have available at the time.

After Goldie was born breastfeeding gave me something to focus on. I felt like it was the one thing I could do for her. It gave me a sense of control. It was also what was familiar to me. I wanted mothering Goldie to be like mothering my other babies. I would have grieved tremendously if Goldie hadn't been able to nurse. My heart goes out to mothers who struggle with this. Mothers who pump for their babies have my highest respect. They are doing double duty to give their babies the benefits of breastmilk.

I would love to hear comments on what did and didn't help mother's wanting to nurse their baby with down syndrome. I'd love to see better information available to future moms.


Tara Marie said...

I was of the same thought as you.....for me, failure was not an option for breastfeeding my last baby, even if she did come sporting an extra chromosome....I was prepared to do everything I could to make it work. Thankfully, after 24 hours, she finally relatched back on and nursed like a champion [she latched on moments after she was born and nursed on the way to the hospital, but then went into a deep, deep sleep] I had begun to pump and finger feed her, and pray, I did alot of praying. She nursed till she was 3 years 10 months old.

Tara Marie said...

Oh, I forog to mention, but a friend of mine is writing a book about breastfeeding your baby with Down syndrome.

SunflowerMom said...

I was confident that Sean would be breastfed, I was less than confident that I'd be able to nurse him at the breast. I made the decision to keep trying at that until he succeeded because I was tandem nursing and couldn't imagine not sharing the experience with both my babies. I didn't really have support for breastfeeding him, no local LLL at the time, and the Dr seemed to think pumping milk was fine.

I researched the benefits of direct nursing (oral motor skills, bonding) and felt it was worth it to both of us to keep trying.

I have had the opportunity to support a few new moms in breastfeeding their baby with Ds. What I have seen is that is important to stay positive, encouraging and patient. Let them know that it can be done and they can succeed. Unfortunately, so many drs believe that it isn't possible to nurse a low-tone baby and do not offer the encouragemnet and facts that the mom needs.

Ruby's Mom said...

I would love to have the Bumbo! Here is my e-mail please contact me about it.

Thanks for letting me know you used the Ergo with no problems.I loved using mine with my last baby.I would put him on my back while I did housework.I hope Ruby likes it as much as her brother did.

Lovin Mama said...

Tara - thanks for stopping by here. Your children inspire me. Goldie has two older sisters who adore her, also. No brothers yet. I'm glad to hear you have a friend who is working on a book about bf a baby w/ ds. I find a lot of people don't realize that it is a unique circumstance with specific things that can be done to help.

Beverly said...

Hi, I nursed Noah until he was 2 1/2 years old. He latched on right away and did wonderful. Even when I couldn't nurse him for the first week because of being in the NICU but had to pump. They kept telling me he may not be able to do it but I didnt listen and I am thankful he did. A book would be wonderful for new Moms!

Lisa said...

First, I want to say that you can write whatever you want in your blog. I completely understand how we worry about who we might offend since our blogs are open to the world, but for me, anyway, my blog is where I go to express what's in my head and heart. I have to be true to myself when I write, you know?

I can relate to everything you've said about breastfeeding. I've nursed all my babies long term and exclusively. Not a drop of formual has passed any of my babes' lips (not even my twins). So when Finn was born, and I had people telling me he might never be able to nurse, I was crushed, and more determined than anything to make it work. Exactly like you said, failure just was not an option for me. That is MY reality - nursing my babies is what I do. We had to start out giving him EBM from a bottle because of his surgery the day after he was born, and it was quite a struggle to get him nursing at the breast AND gaining weight. I used a SNS for a while, nipple shields, and worked with a LC who helped us immensely. The payoff has been so worth the work that went into getting us here: nursing well.

All that to say, I understand everything you've said.

Lovin Mama said...

Thanks everyone. I'm glad to know there are other moms out there who "get it". I'm so excited to know that there are a lot of other moms who are/have bf their child w/ DS. Very cool!